Sunday, July 15, 2018

Digital Storytelling: Allaha of the Mountain Abridged

Ok, so before I share the video... I meant to have real people acting out everything, as I said in an earlier post. But then life happened to all my actors, so at the last minute I switched to.... sock puppets. 

Guys.

I made twenty sock puppets for this. And I could only find one more puppeteer (who asked to be known as "annoying hair flip") to help me out. It's.... it's rough. But I still had a lot of fun making it, and I hope you have a lot of fun watching it. Anyways, here it is: Allaha of the Mountain Abridged. 

(Script Below)








Allaha of the Mountain Abridged 
written by
Aurora Lee Thornton




FADE IN:
TESTIMONY - TITLE CARD READS "TESTIMONY I"
Writing appears on the screen, matching what the voice over is saying. 
ALLAHA (V.O.)
I am Allaha. I am giving my final testimony before my sentence, death, is carried out. This should in no way be taken as the author giving readers insight into the thought process and emotional state of an otherwise stoic and emotionally unavailable character. Especially not by starting with the death of my mother, a very emotional place that shaped the rest of my life. 
FOREST - TITLE CARD READS "THE SEER OF HASTAPUT"
ALEC, ALLAHA, TAMARA, HIBU, and KAREJAKAL are standing around. 
ALEC
Hullo, I'm Alec and I'm here to kick start some forced exposition that introduces all the main characters.
ALLAHA
I'm Allaha, a Knight of the Mountain. As you can see, I am very stoic by my stern expression and formal speech. 
TAMARA
I'm Tamara, and I'm a Menori, a people that are loosely inspired by the Romani people. I'm an empath, but because I'm a teenager, I can get confused about why people are feeling the emotions they do. My main character traits are being wise for my years, but still being a teenager so sometimes I'm not. 
HIBU
I'm Hibu, a Journeyman Sorcerer of the Zho, the royal family of a country called Jeongwon that will be hinted at until we get to my emotional character arc about the abuses I suffered and how I'm still dealing with them. My main character traits are being curious and socially awkward. 
KAREJAKAL
Karej is Karej. Karej is a Tibu, and a child. Karej can summon ghosts to help Mama. 
ALEC
By the way Allaha, do you remember how we grew up together as children and how it is painfully obvious that I have an unrequited crush on you?
ALLAHA
I do remember that.
ALEC
Also, I'm going to bring up local superstitions about monsters in the forest that I'm going to scoff at as if they aren't true, because they surely aren't. 
ALLAHA
It's fine, it was prompted by plot. 
GORIC appears.
GORIC
Allaha has a past? Please tell me, Goric the demon whose main character traits are being annoying and perverted, all about it!
ALLAHA
Do not do that. 
ALEC
Then I won't.
GORIC
Drat. 
NARRATOR
So the group goes the Keep of Timerbrand, where they find out Alec's father, the Lord of Timerbrand, is dying. We get to see the group interact with each other, including giving Allaha a hard time about her mysterious relationship with Alec after the lordling asks her to meet him alone after dinner. They meet on the rooftop at night, because Alec is brooding, and literary convention requires that brooding occurs on a rooftop at night. 
EXT. ROOFTOP
ALEC
My father is dying. 
ALLAHA
I noticed.
ALEC
Your mother died - that gives us emotional solidarity while I go through a difficult time. 
ALLAHA
You are correct. 
ALEC
Also I'm marrying your sister.
ALLAHA
This does not surprise me. 
ALEC
Remember when I proposed to you when we were like eight?
ALLAHA
Yes. But we're adults now that have gone on different paths in our lives and that will clearly not work out. 
ALEC
Yeah, that sucks, cause I'm still totally in love with you despite not knowing anything about who you are now and even calling you a completely different person. 
ALLAHA
Well good luck with your father dying. 
ALEC
Oh right. I'm sad.
EXT. TOWN
NARRATOR
So the next morning they go into town and surprisingly, the people implied to be vaguely British are racist against the character implied to be vaguely Romani. Allaha finds a guide to take her to meet the local seer, a witch named Alistair, who is very obviously a not good person by the way he looks, smells, and acts.
DASBUL
A woman doing something I don't like! Whore!
ALLAHA
I'm going to get you to do what I want by threatening to turn you in for breaking the law. Also threatening to hurt you if you insult my charges again. 
DASBUL
I am supringly cowardly and easy to convince. 
NARRATOR
But Dasbul is also really fast, and abandons Allaha in the forest. Goric joins her to make fun of her, but it's alright, because a rooster guides her to the witch she's looking for, leading to this conversation the author is very proud of:
On screen flashes the words "ACTUAL DIALOGUE".
ALISTAIR
Asvorian?
ALLAHA
Are you Alistair?
ALISTAIR
Who would like to know?
ALLAHA
Allaha of the Mountain.
GORIC
Did you REALLY name your chicken after the Angel of Fertility?
ALISTAIR
He’s my familiar. My most common requests are for childbirth and fertility.
GORIC
So you use your cock for-
ALLAHA
Peace, demon.
GORIC
What? I was just going to say it made sense...
Flashing text ends.
NARRATOR
Anyways, it starts to rain, so Alistair lets the knight stay in his cabin for the night - this will in no way lead to a giant misunderstanding the next day. Back in the village, character development is being set up. 
KAREJAKAL
Whey are you angry at Hibu?
TAMARA
Because he did something I'm going to leave vaguely explained that caused me to get get hurt by being arrogant. 
KAREJAKAL
But he said sorry. 
TAMARA
I know. 
KAREJAKAL
And he was just trying to help. 
TAMARA
I know. 
KAREJAKAL
And mama said it wasn't his fault.
TAMARA
I know! Gods, can't you just let me be an emotionally immature teenager for five minutes? I'm going to go dance in the rain because I'm emotionally distraught and no one understands me!
KAREJAKAL
Ok, have fun. 
NARRATOR
Back at Alistair's cabin, howling wakes up Allaha. To everyone's absolute surprise in a fantasy novel, there are actual werewolves living in the forest. They bring an injured wolf to Alistair for treatment after being shot by Dasbul, and Alistair leaves them naked in his back shed to heal, which will surely not lead to a future misunderstanding. The werewolf leader, Brisbane, is also suspicious of Allaha. 
BRISBANE
Why is there an outsider here? 
ALISTAIR
She's here to see me.
BRISBANE
Why?
ALISTAIR
Doesn't matter. 
BRISBANE
Well I don't trust her. She could be lying. 
ALISTAIR
Knights of the Mountain can't lie, so that's impossible.
ALLAHA
I'm here for a vision. 
BRISBANE
A vision? No, no, no - a vision killed our mother, I won't allow it!
ALISTAIR
You aren't the boss of me! (To ALLAHA) Also, I'm a werewolf. 
BRISBANE
Well don't come crying to me when this ends poorly.
ALISTAIR
It won't.
BRISBANE walks out of frame.
ALISTAIR (CONT'D)
So want to have an emotional talk about our dead mothers and messy sibling relationships?
ALLAHA
Sounds good. 
NARRATOR
The next day, things end poorly. 
DASBUL
I'm angry because the witch is a werewolf and it scares me!
ALISTAIR
I have literally done nothing wrong.
ALLAHA
Yeah, he really hasn't.
DASBUL
Look! The knight stayed in his house! They must have frick-fracked, which knights don't do, which means he used magic to seduce her!
ALLAHA
That makes no sense.
DASBUL
Having a naked woman in his shed makes no sense either!
ALISTAIR
She's a patient.
DASBUL
Naked!
NARRATOR
And then the other wolf left to guard the naked woman attacked and a mob ties up Alistair and Allaha and takes them into town to burn Alistair at the stake and end his evil witch magic. On the way, Allaha sees Brisbane and tells him to go to the nearby Sanctum for help. 
Tied up ALLAHA and wolf BRISBANE nod at each other. 
NARRATOR (CONT'D)
In town, the stake is set up and Allaha is secured nearby. Tamara, Karejakal, and Hibu come to talk to Allaha. 
TAMARA
Well this is bad. 
ALLAHA
Yes. 
HIBU
Should I use magic to help?
Text flashes on the bottom saying "ACTUAL DIALOGUE". 
ALLAHA
No. They intend to burn Alistair for being a witch. Magic like that will only add fuel to the fire.
GORIC
Literally. 
Flashing text ends. 

DASBUL
What? Children!? We can't have this!
ALLAHA
That's a bad idea. 
KAREJAKAL
I want mama! 
NARRATOR
So Karejakal summoned a bunch of spooky ghosts that chased everyone away, breaking the hysteria. A bunch of priests show up from the Sanctum, admonish the townspeople for hurting innocents, and banish Alistair because of vaguely discussed politics. Brisbane declares the Pack sticks together, so thanks Allaha for saving his brother's life before they leave.
BRISBANE and ALLAHA shake hands and BRISBANE and ALISTAIR walk off frame. 
NARRATOR (CONT'D)
Then Alec shows up to let Allaha know his father has died. She gives him a hug as a gesture of comfort, and he awkwardly kisses her for closure on his childhood crush. And so ends chapter one. 
TESTIMONY - TITLE CARD READS "TESTIMONY II"
ALLAHA (V.O.)
It's now time to talk about my rocky relationship with my father due to him not paying me enough attention after my mother's death. This includes a healthy dose of self reflection, and surely none of the background I'm giving has anything to do with a later part of the story. 
OUTSIDE - TITLE CARD READS "THE WISEWOMAN OF BADEREAD"
ALLAHA, HIBU, KAREJAKAL, and TAMARA pretend to ride horses. 
NARRATOR
After a lot of boring walking that helps establish the setting and passage of time, our heroes come across a giant graveyard, and Karejakal breaks off to go play with ghost children. 
HIBU
H-h-h-hey guys, s-s-shouldn't we m-move on?
TAMARA
Don't tell me you're scared?

HIBU
W-whaaat? N-no way!
GORIC
Yeah, that's really convincing. 
NARRATOR
After a brief rest, the group continues on to find a spooooky abandoned town. Allaha doesn't trust it, but does trust the spooky abandoned Sanctum overlooking the town. The group decides to spend the night there, but Allaha wants to investigate the town. 
ALLAHA
I'm going to investigate the town. 
GORIC
Guess I'll just stay here then, pookiebear. 
ALLAHA
You do realize I've caught onto the fact that you're just trying to make me angry, right?
GORIC
You have?
ALLAHA
Yup. You'll just have to find new ways to annoy me. Farewell.
NARRATOR
After showing how their relationship is progressing, Allaha goes into town and ends up finding a bunch of spooooky ghosts who aren't very helpful. Then she runs into a random old woman and they head to her home. Meanwhile, Karejakal runs away, and Tamara and Hibu find him in the middle of a giant GHOST PARTY. 
Flashing lights, sirens, etc.
NARRATOR (CONT'D)
While they're out having fun, the old woman tells Allaha the story of what happened to the village because honestly the author forgot what she had planned when she got to this part and made some stuff up but she's pretty happy with how it turned out overall. At the end of the night, Tamara and Hibu have a fight because while Tamara's powers of empathy give her insight into how people are feeling, she's still a teenager and isn't actually all the great at the why part. Allaha gets back to the group after the old woman dies, freeing all the ghosts and causing the village to melt away like morning mist. 
TESTIMONY - TITLE CARD READS "TESTIMONY III"
ALLAHA (V.O.)
By the way, the way knights are trained includes both physical and psychological torture, which is why I'm so emotionally unavailable. 
TITLE CARD READS "THE HERMIT OF DANABANE"
NARRATOR
After some more boring walking and character development - who needs that? - we find out heroes scaling a mountainside. 
HIBU
I still hate bad weather, and it is very cold and snowy here. 
GORIC
Don't be a baby.
NARRATOR
But they soon enter an in built into the side of the mountain, where some 9 foot tall dwarves greet them because the author thought if Tolkein got away with making elves tall, why not make tall dwarves? Anyways, they have a weird accent and their entire city is built inside the mountain. The group travels to a Sanctum inside the mountain, where they get to enjoy some natural hot springs for bathing. Allaha and Tamara discuss differences in their personal beliefs, and soon Allaha goes out into a magical blizzard because it's preventing her from seeing the oracle outside the town. After some struggle, she meets a man named Karaby. 
GORIC
Or Estalvo. 
ALLAHA
The Angel of Death in my religion?
KARABY
It's Karaby. I'm not an angel and I hate you religion and your god. 
ALLAHA
But you are Estalvo?
KARABY
Yes. 
ALLAHA
I really don't know how to react to this. 
KARABY
Well since you're not here for me I guess you can see Rhyodacite, the hermit you came to see. 
ALLAHA
Thanks?
NARRATOR
On the way Allaha slips on some ice and Karaby catches her, but then acts like touching her physically hurt her and never explains why - though it is heavily implied that Goric knows why. Naturally, he shares nothing, so Allaha gets her vision from Rhyodacite - it only took 130 some pages OT get to the first one - and returns to the Sanctum so they can get ready to go to the next place. 
TESTIMONY - TITLE CARD READS "TESTIMONY IV"
ALLAHA (V.O.)
Hey remember how I have a bad relationship with my father? I'm here to remind you of that again. 
TITLE CARD READS "THE ORACLE OF BAKHAA"
NARRATOR
Once again we're going to skip all the travel time and possible character development therein (such as Tamara realizing she's been acting like an immature teenager, reconciling with Hibu, and both forming a deeper bond as surrogate siblings) and go right to the heart of the chapter. After indulging in the author's old style military uniform fetish for a few paragraphs, we meet Commander Scorun, a Jaspernian who seems nice as he explains the tensions between his people and the Irikish and Carboneans at Hibu's request. The fact that his description is almost as long as the character descriptions form the beginning of the book means absolutely nothing, and certainly does not indicate favoritism on the author's part. Anyways, some Irikish and Carboneans arrive and the Commander flees, which seems suspicious to Allaha and Goric. That night, Tamara can't sleep and goes exploring the hotel. She comes across a secret meeting where the Carboneans and Irikish are being made a deal to help get a Jaspernian out of the way. On her way back to the room, she gets waylaid by the Commander, who reveals he's the target of the deal. He insists Tamara not get involved, but she wakes up Hibu to try and do otherwise.
TAMARA
Look he was super nice and also people plan to kill him, we should help!
HIBU
I don't think that's a good idea...
GORIC
He's also a liar. 
TAMARA
What? He wasn't lying! I can tell with my magic!
GORIC
Ok, he didn't lie per se, but he did manipulate your perception of the truth. 
NARRATOR
So Goric explains the slightly convoluted way that the Commander tricked her using the help of another Jaspernian named Desrae, and they all go to bed afterwards with no harm done. The next afternoon, they head into the desert to get to their next destination, when a bunch of naked snake women kidnap Allaha and drag her off. The children race back to the inn, and Tamara confronts the Commander to blackmail him into helping them. 
TAMARA
Wow that is a lot of scars. 
SCORUN
What do you want?
TAMARA
You tried to trick me, and if you don't help, I'll expose you!
SCORUN
... damn it all to hell. Des! I'm blaming you for this!
DESRAE
I don't think it's my fault, but I'm going along with this anyways.
NARRATOR
So after the Jaspernian rogues get dressed, they go to rescue Allaha. She's being held by a demon named Malia.
Blank screen reading "Explicit Content Not Shown".
NARRATOR (CONT'D)
But on the way, they realize that the Carboneans are following them. The Commander shows Tamara how to use Insight - a power they both have - to trick the Carboneans into fighting the snake women for them. Goric appears in corporeal form for the first time to egt into a big fight with Malia. They rescue Allaha, but there's only one hitch... 
SCORUN
(Dragging Desrae)
You're coming with me.
DESRAE
Isn't this a weird time to want to frick-frack?
SCORUN
I agree, unfortunately, being in a room full of aphrodisiac tends to change things. 
DESRAE
Well can we at least make things interesting?
SCORUN
... you want to invite the demon, don't you?
DESRAE
Duh.
SCORUN
Fine, but be quick.
NARRATOR
So off they go to play patty cake, and all is well for the rest of the night. Allaha wakes up, they learn that the oracle they had come to see was a fake, and at the end Allaha calls Goric by his name for the first time due to a promise in the last chapter the author forgot to put in the script and you probably forgot about while reading the book, showing more character progression between the two of them. 
TESTIMONY - TITLE CARD READS "TESTIMONY V"
ALLAHA (V.O.)
Here I tell you about the magical process used in becoming a knight, the part that makes us immune to magic and could not possibly have an explanation the author intends to reveal later. 
TITLE CARD READS "THE MAIDEN OF THORNS"
Scene is the author at her kitchen table. 
AUTHOR
Okay, guys, look - this is the longest chapter in the book. The next longest chapter is only half the length of this one. This is because the way the chapters are structured in the book are based on the length of time they spend in the location where a prophet of some kind resides - in the other chapters, it was only a day at most. In this chapter, they spend two weeks in one location, which is why this chapter is so SO long. So to save time and my patience, I'm just going to summarize it myself instead of in a skit. 
The author pulls out a script and begins reading. 
AUTHOR (CONT'D)
The group is riding through the Forrest in Ruruak when they learn that the next prophet they're going to see is in Allaha's home town. They then run into a hunting party, which it turns out is being led by Allaha's older brother, Aubin. Her other brother, Dorian, is a bit of an ass and acts like it. They start riding back while the siblings sibling, revealing the Allaha was a bit of a wild child. But then Dorian brings back their father who - you'll never guess - Allaha has a bad relationship with. Also, he's a Duc and the King's Champion. They get to the Duc's keep and get rooms, and Allaha immediately goes off to talk to her bother about seeing the prophet. Tamara, Hibu, and Karejakal are left to the Stewart, Winoc, who tells them a really long story that is definitely not foreshadowing. Along the way they meet a page named Michel who tells Tamara she's pretty and Hibu and Goric recognize trouble because he said it in a pretty racist way. Allaha meets up with Aubin and his boyfriend and girlfriend and they tell her about the attempted coup her sister, the prophet, staged while she was away. Allaha goes OT her mother's cabin, where her sister is banished, and after they talk she goes to take care of her grandmother's garden and visit her mother's grave. Hibu, Tamara, and Karejakal get dressed up for a birthday ball for Allaha's other sister, Sylvianne. Because the Ruruach druids see demons as spirits, they help Goric take corporeal form again and he goes to retrieve Allaha for the celebration. They have a bit of a tiff - 
Text on screen reads "The author apologizes for writing this while watching a British crime show. Not Sherlock - the Midsomer Murders."
AUTHOR (CONT'D)
And Allaha runs into her sister Sylvianne on the way and her sister's fiance, Theimo, at the head of their mercenary band. Sylvianne convinces Allaha to wear a dress to everyone's surprise, and at the ball we meet the King - a crotchety old man - and the Dauphin - 
Text on screen reads "French word for crown prince"
AUTHOR (CONT'D)
And then they wait because Lucette, Allaha's traitorous sister, said she needed the full moon to give a vision. Tamara and Hibu are invited to noble parties, where Tamara gets caught up playing noblewoman and Hibu plays some shell games to try and keep her from getting hurt. Marcellin, the Dauphin, notices and starts flirting with Hibu because of it. Tamara finds out what hibu did and they have a big blow out fight and stop speaking to each other. Meanwhile, Allaha is off doing other things and leaving them to their own devices for once. Goric comes to ask her and she imparts the wisdom of siblings and letting them sort out their own fight to him. They have a quiet moment and soon after Karejakal becomes concerned with Allaha's absence. He goes and yells at Tamara and Hibu for being dumb teenagers, and the pair make up and all three go to look for Allaha. They run into Marcellin, who takes Hibu to see griffons hatch after he noticed Hibu seemed interested in them. Hibu ends up being gifted an albino griffon and talks about his difficult past. This causes him and Marcellin to have a sweet moment together where Marcellin reveals he likes Hibu for being a good person. Tamara and Karejakal go to see Winoc the Stewart -
Text reads "Bet you forgot him"
AUTHOR (CONT'D)
Who is married to a man name Taulb, the stablemaster, and they share some insight on the relationship between Allaha and her father. For the second week of their stay, Tamara and Hibu act like themselves, with Hibu taking care of a grifflet. Allaha doesn't really seem to care about Marcellin's involvement, and the King gives her a book with her mother's portrait in it. They finally get a prophecy out of Lucette and SHOCKINGLY Allaha is the actual person who is going to save the world. She really didn't expect this, she kind of just thought she'd help. Even though the vision was triggered by her and everything. Also - foreshadowing. 
AUTHOR pauses to shrug.
AUTHOR (CONT'D)
So they go back to the keep to pack and say their goodbyes, including Allaha's father seeing them off to show the way they've made a little progress towards repairing their relationship. And we're done.
AUTHOR throws the script away and lays down. 
TESTIMONY - TITLE CARD READS "TESTIMONY VI"
ALLAHA (V.O.)
Just the vow of the Knights of the Mountain. 
TITLE CARD READS "THE SOOTHSAYER OF MEYAYA"
NARRATOR
After a brief variation of "The Landlady" meets "The Most Dangerous Game" which scars Tamara for life, the trio head to Tibu to meet their next prophet. On the way they see a trio including a Derovon, a Jaspernian, and a Demoroki woman who are in a relationship and will be more relevant in later books. Anyways, they get to the village of Meyaya and Karejakal decides to stay with the chieftain and learn with other Tibu. Hibu and Goric decide to stay as well and look after him. Allaha and Tamara go on to the Sanctum, which they learn is full of only female knights. While there, Allaha meets with their Knight Captain, a Carbonean named Dalti, and the High Priestess, a Korinwanese woman named Akoni. 
Text on screen flashes "ACTUAL DIALOGUE"
DALTI
So you travel with a demon? Has that caused you any trouble?
ALLAHA
It has on occasion, ma’am. But nothing I could not handle.
DALTI
I like that answer. You know nothing in our laws actually says we have to kill them, right?
ALLAHA
Captain?
AKONI
She’s right, we checked. Strange, though, isn’t it? Lord Devera was the first Head of the Order to start hunting them in force the way we have.
DALTI
Odd how long he’s lived, too, don’t you think?
AKONI
There is something I do not understand. Why did Lord Devera send you to find those with the Sight? Especially with your charges?
DALTI
She means it would have made more sense to have them come to you. If you all are supposed to play important roles in this, why risk you by having you traipse all over Magdra?
NARRATOR
Allaha has no answers for these questions which are not plot holes because the author does have answers she's not going to tell you right now. In the village, Hibu gets hit on by the girls and this almost starts a brawl that they manage to turn into a dance party instead. You know, how you do. Goric is corporeal some more, and then Allaha comes to ask Hibu to do magic. The prophet they're looking for is Genoarian, making him a merman who lives underwater. Hibu, who has been very nervous about using magic ever since that vaguely explained accident at the beginning you probably forgot about, very nervously agrees to magic himself and Tamara to breath underwater the next day. They all have some good bonding moments the night before that would be much sweeter if this had included all that character development from the rest of the book, but that's why this is abridged. Anwyays, they go to see the prophet, K'Div, the next day after Hibu gives them gills.
NARRATOR (CONT'D)
They go through an underwater city and find a giant glowing pearl. K'Div turns out to be a giant sharkmerman, and Hibu touches the pearl. K'Div tells him it is a source of Old Magic, and after touching it Hibu gets some new powers. K'Div then gives them a vision, which Hibu's new powers let him see as well. K'Div then helps them get to the surface, and they all return to the cabin near the Sanctum they were staying in. While Hibu and Tamara recount their journey, Alistair shows up. You know, the werewolf witch from the first chapter? He brings his rooster, too. The other knights warn Allaha both to stay and to run away, worried something bad is going to happen. She decides to continue her quest anyways.
TESTIMONY - TITLE CARD READS "TESTIMONY VII"
ALLAHA (V.O.)
Here I finally talk about the death of the Oracle of Jourmaju and the broken prophecy that started this whole thing. 
TITLE CARD READS "SEER OF THE PARK"
NARRATOR
So the werewolves are with Alistair and Allaha and the kids start traveling with the pack. It's super obvious that they're really nervous about something, which leads to a confrontation that would be much more rewarding with more character development like the kind you'll find in the actual book. Anyways, they end up having to tie up Allaha and travel to the abandoned Sanctum in Baderead to hide out from spoilers. Hibu doesn't agree with tying Allaha up, and ends up summoning an army of skeletons to rescue her and spirit her away to spoilerville. There's a small section at the end full of spoilers, and then spoilers happen. 
TESTIMONY - TITLE CARD READS "TESTIMONY VIII"
ALLAHA (V.O.)
Uh, foreshadowing?
TITLE CARD READS "EPILOGUE"
NARRATOR
So it turns out that spoiler is spoiler, and the spoiler he spoiled spoiler away was in spoils that spoiler would get spoiled along the spoiler. Spoiler had spoiler spoiled because spoiler thought spoiler spoiler spoiler's spoiler spoiler, but spoiler didn’t. Spoiler doesn’t spoil because spoiler’s still spoiling spoiler. Spoiler also spoils spoilself so spoiler can spoil spoiler, and the spoiler spoils spoiler from spoiler.
TITLE CARD READS "END"
Sound of a book shutting. 

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